Greetings, dear readers! It has come to our attention that we use a lot of nicknames and strange terms throughout the regular season to both describe and name players. Those of you who have been with us since the blogspot days are probably pretty well versed in the language of Couch Tarts by now, but we thought it might be nice to put together a little guide for the new readers amongst us. Consult this handy guide whenever you run across a name that confuses you.

We'll start with the Sharks:

Patrick Marleau: Patty, O'Cap'n, my Capn'!

Joe Thornton: Joe, Big Joe, shirtless Joe/shirtless Joe Thornton

Douglas Murray: Douglas Murray

Joe Pavelski: JoePA! (alternatively, JoePa!), the Big Pavelski

Scott Nichol: NicholCity (alternatively Nickel City)

Dany Heatley: Heater

Dan Boyle: Danny B! Big Danny B

Torrey Mitchell: Torrey

Devin Setoguchi: Seto. A lot of people call him "Gooch". We don't.

Jamie McGinn: Kid, McGinn

Derek Joslin: Joslin

Marc-Edouard Vlasic: Pickles

Ryane Clowe: Clowe, Cloweverfield

Jason Demers: Demers

Kent Huskins: KENT HUSKINS?! The Patron Saint (of CouchTarts)

Logan Couture: Prince Logan, Juicy, Bust, Teeth, any combination of those nicknames strung together (e.g. Juicy Busty Teeth) Mina's brother calls him EXTREME.

Ryan Vesce: Short, fat, Russian. (he's not fat or Russian but he is kinda short)

Fraizer McLaren: Not Kyle

Jay Leach: You know, he hasn't played enough to get a nickname yet. How sad is that?

Niclas Wallin: Hamburger (said like Steve Martin in those annoying ads for his pink panther movies)

Jamal Mayers: Maven

Thomas Greiss: Meth Squirrel, Greiss

Woor-Sharks you may see at some point this season/preseason:

John McCarthy: The McCarthy Era

Anyone at camp wearing #50: Not Graham Mink

Andrew Desjardins: Disaronno

Brandon Mashinter: Monster Mash

Alex Stalock: Our Stalock who art in net

Tyson Sexsmith: Sexy

Former Sharks:

Craig Rivet: CFR!

Jeremy Roenick: JR

Matt Carle: Oh, Matt Carle...

Christain Ehrhoff: New number, same old Ehrhoff. (shots high and wide are refered to as "Ehrhoffian")

Evgeni Nabokov: Nabby

Vesa Toskala: Vesa

Manny Malhotra: Manny being Manny!