With the proliferation of zombies into the mass consciousness, we, as a society, are now more aware of what items can be used to beat dead things, should the need arise.  I submit to you a list of just a few of these items, in preparation for tonight’s game.

Close combat my requires the use of anything on hand, such are Ryane Clowe’s fists, Douglas Murray’s crushing brick wall, Winchester’s solid rock formation and Braun’s Brawniness.

Combat from a distance can be successful if one applies Marleau’s quick shot, Joe Thornton’s sharp shooting eye, Dan Boyle bazooka, Joe Pavelski’s pistol whip and Logan Couture’s flash of brilliance. (see also, Whites, Pearly)

Should this prove only somewhat effective, keep in mind that should zombies make it to ice level, the players are equipped with hockey sticks, frozen pucks, and pre-sharpened blades.

Survival of the fittest.

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The other half and I stood against the playground bars outside The Counter at Santana Row, waiting for a text (yes, a text. Welcome to the future), to come through and alert us to the fact that our table was ready. As we stood there, discussing California fashion (ugg boots and  jorts, flip flops and wool pea coats), I noticed a group of shaggy looking fellows roll up to the door. I only really saw the one guy, in shorts and tragically faded and ill fitting navy henley and ball cap, and thought to myself, "damn, that guy needs like 3 showers." They sat before us,a text alerting them to the fact that space had opened up. I bid a slient good bye to the man needing three showers and continued to ponder wool pea coats and flip flops, and exactly what this combo said about modern society.

Californianus Sterotypicalus

Now, navy henley LOOKED familiar, but not in a way I could place. His carriage and dress really struck me as a pro athlete out enjoying his off day, but he wasn't anyone I recognized, and no one else seemed to recognize him either. I assumed he was a local college jock, or maybe one of the Earthquakes players. He had been hanging out with a strange guy, similar height, in a navy suit who was also in a ball cap and and looked ridiculous. VERY SERIOUS, but ridiculous, none the less. Who the hell wears a suit and a ball cap? Whatever, businessman. You look silly and you own it.

Going into this game, the big story was how well Heater and Seto would be received by Sharks fans in their return to the Tank. Seto made a comment about not wanting to get booed (or, as Mina calls it, "Prongered"). All went well until each of them took their own respective penalties against the Sharks, then we broke up. Heater's interference call against Boyle seemed to go over less well than Seto's tripping penalty, and for the rest of the night, Heater was booed by a good number of fans in attendance. Mina and I didn't quite get it, but we decided to laugh about it anyway. There was some discussion as to whether or not the booing was also due to Heater having contracted a bit of Bill Guerin syndrome, but I suspect it lay solely with the penalty. (for most people, anyway)

If you indluge a little digression for a moment; when you are tapped politely on the shoulder and asked to sit back because when you lean forward, the people behind you cannot see, do not respond by becoming a defensive jackass. It is not our fault you a) did not pay attention to the announcement b) did not care that your friend has also already been asked to sit back for the same reason c) you cannot be bothered to allow ANYONE in your row to walk past you for any reason or d) you have never been to a game before and have no idea how crowd etiquette works. Do not argue and say "I am sitting back" while several inches between you and the back of your chair is visible. Do not be a dick. Just sit back. It's really quite simple. I would also avoid throwing objects and the lass two rows behind you who is also pissed at you for being a douche all game. She will come down there and exchange words with you. I didn't hear any of these words, but I assume they were about your mother. We will call the ushers. I don't care if you get thrown out, so, just say, "oh, sorry! I didn't know!" and lean back and move on. It's better for everyone this way.

And don't cut in the line for the bathroom. Really. We all have to pee. GTFO or I will be that passive agressive and loud asshole behind you for the rest of the time you are in line. The woman behind me nearly peed herself. I don't know about you, but I really don't want to be in the splash zone when that happens. Don't cut in and make the line longer. Same principle applied to traffic.

*ahem*

Moving on.

The first, oh, 6 minutes or so of period one was fast, hard hitting and all in the Wild's zone. There were chances left and right and you were like "yes, this game is going to be awesome!" Then, somewhere further along, you look up and went "6 shots? They have 6 shots on goal?!" and you wondered what happened. Then something incredibly stupid sloppy would happened and you said to yourself "oh." The good thing was, if we can say it was a good thing at all, that both teams were playing like crap. Well, hey, at least it was even. The 1st ended with two goose eggs lighting up the board on either side. Shots were 7-5 Sharks. Low low low low.

Patrick Marleau scored two goals! I really wanted him to score three, so I could finally yell PATTY HATTY, but alas, it was not to be.

For the first time in history, Torrey Mitchell got everyone Tacos. The response was a loud cheer for the goal and then a boo for the tacos, followed by chants of "WE WANT PIZZA!". I have a feeling that the Tank staff has heard the fans loud and clear. It remains to be seen if the giveaway will change again this season. (but seriously, not to look a deep fried gift horse in the mouth, but who in their right mind wants Jack in the Box tacos? That's like saying "yes, I want Montezuma's Revenge." No one wants that.") I called it the "taco shit minute" because, well, let's be honest, if you eat your give away, you will be occupying your toilet for awhile after.

There were a decent number of crazy near misses on Backstrom. The Sharks really seemed to finally be inclined to shoot and aggressively head to the net, which is a nice change of pace this season.

The PK still needs work. It still needs a lot of work. Yes the Sharks managed to hold off the Wild, but it was a little rough out there at times.

Nemo looked so much better. He was alert, his glove and blocker saves were much improved, and his lateral movement was better. Me thinks he may have had a touch of the flu earlier.

Brent Burns did not wear his robotic pants, but Joe Pavelski managed to save 5 puppies and 6 kittens between shifts. He's just that much better than you are.

That was a pretty fun game to watch, wasn't it? There was some concern going in about how the Sharks would react to the lessons learned from the third period loss to the Preds, (while the game did go into overtime, it was decided by the Sharks lack of focus in the third), but it looked like the Sharks were able to produce a good 50 minute effort and nab a win against a divisional rival in the process.

LA looked pretty dangerous in the first, but luckily, they never managed to score. Nemo looked far more alert and into the game, although a few of his early saves still nearly made me pee my pants. So much drama.

Jack Johnson, not the singer, opened the scoring, much to my chagrin early on in the second to give LA the early 1-0 lead.

Not to be outdone by a guy who isn't actually a famous singer, Joe Thornton, who probably had the best game he's had this young season, scored with help from Patty and and the Big Pavelski. His movember stache reached out and slapped Quick and called his mother easy. Game tied 1-1.

Then Boyle was like, WAGOOSH, look at me shoot down the middle and BOOM shot the puck and Patty was like DEFLECTION! And Quick was like "what?" and suddenly it was 2-1 Sharks. It was really nice to see Boyle get in on the scoring. He's been having a rough go of it lately, for sure.

Then Danny B, was like, you know, I could just get an assist but...I WANNA GOAL! And get a goal he did on a sweet slap shot.

At one point in the second, I think Randy Hahn remarked that if Quick didn't have up a magically force field, it'd have been like, 20-1. I might be paraphrasing, but it was true. The Sharks were swarming all around his net. Some of the saves he made were due to the fact that I am pretty sure he has robotic extendo legs. He made some kick saves that were AMAZING. It's a good thing the Sharks seem to have his number.

Teeth flashed his recently crosschecked in the back of the head smile at QUick, who, momentarily blinded by its brilliance, let goal number 4 go past him. (yeah, back of the head. Argue all you want, Willie Mitchell, that was not cool. You go sit in your box and you like it!)

Whoo 4-1! YUSSSS!

Kopitar decided to ruin the party by scoring on a PP in the third to make it a 4-2 game. How rude!

There was much discussion on how Dustin Penner has been kind of...useless for the Kings. One wonders how that will work out for him come trade deadline, or the off season. (I don't recall of the top of my head if he has a NTC or not)

Joe Thornton tied his childhood hero, Pat LaFontaine, for 74th all time points leader. You go, Jumbo. That's mammoth hockey.

It was a disappointing end to an otherwise decently interesting game. The Preds scored first, but, the Sharks came back to grab the 3-1 lead. At that point, in the second, I remember thinking "this is it. We're cool.", but unfortunately, that was not true. The Sharks sat back in the third and let the Preds take the game back over.

Normally, I defend Nemo, but he looked pretty out of it, last night. Sure, he lost his stick on the first goal against but oi, he looked bad. Half the time I'm not sure he knew where the puck was. That wasn't good to see I know he needs to find his game, and he's be given a chance to do that, but I would have preferred Greiss in nets last night.

Rinne is freaking huge.  Not just in terms of how he plays, but I mean, HUGE. He's like 8 foot 4 inches. He made a save purely based on the fact that his legs are 15 feet long. It's insane. Not only is he quick and skilled, he just takes up the whole net. It's unreal.

There was a GORGEOUS pass, no look, oh man, so sweet. It was beautiful.

Can you imagine if Teeth developed into the type of passer Thornton is?

Havlat scored his first goal as a Shark, which was awesome. Sure, the goal itself was pretty silly, but he scored it, which is all that matters to me.

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sjkdjsdksjdksfjskfjasfk OMG WHAT AN AWESOME WIN! Look, I'm excited. I know it causes verbal, or, I guess, written diarrhea, but who cares, that was a damn fun game to watch, after the first, anyway.

Pulling Nemo after 2 minutes, and 2 goals against, was a debatable call for some, but I was fully behind it. I'm not the one to blame the goalie, and Nemo wasn't to blame for both shots, but the team needed to be shaken up, and that was the best way to do it. Putting Greiss in right away was a smart move that worked to the Sharks advantage.

McLellan says he was pretty sure Nemo was not ready to play, nor was the rest of the team, which was part of the motivation for pulling him so early.

Winchester tried to get things goes by fighting Adams. It sparked a little bit of nothing much. Crowd got back into it though.

In the second, Clowe went over Engelland after he (cleanly) hit, Jumbo. Clowe looked at his bench as he finished the fight, giving everyone the stink eye and mentally challenging them all to act. They did.

Lots of line shuffling as the coaching staff tried to find a combination with some spark.

Marleau looked great tonight, netting one in the second to bring the game back to within one. He had several other chances as well, and looked fast and controlled out on the ice.

Braun and Winchester also had good games, with Braun getting a lot of praise from McLellan post game. (as opposed to most of the rest of the team)

I nearly, no wait, I did fall backwards and over as the tying goal was scored for the Sharks to make it 3-3. It was one of those things that you knew could happen, but still felt somewhat hilariously unbelievable. Moments like that remind you why you love hockey.

The best part of the night, aside from the win, was Jumbo getting the Woolly Mammoth tusk from the team as a gift for hitting 1000 games. Sure, the silver stick from the NHL was cool too, but it's not a Woolly Mammoth tusk! That gift probably made Joe's night, and it sure made mine.

The Pens are fast. Their D is amazing and MAF is ridiculous. I am glad the Sharks found a way to play up to their level eventually, as it made for a great game. The pace was pretty incredible. This is why I love to see teams like the Pens. They're so skilled, it's just great fun to watch them play the Sharks (when the Sharks play back, anyway). Helluva win on a night when after the first 2 minutes, many had written the Sharks off completely.