1) Sense of humor
2) Like poop jokes*
3) Be able to ride the highs and lows of Sharks fandom with out getting into the shit parade
4) Poop rainbowsAKSJAKDJKAJDKAJDK!!!!
5) Be a Sharks fan or a close enough approximation there of that you can write amusing stuff about the team, while still being just this side of informative.
The ability to spell (which, as you have probably noticed by now, is a skill I lack)
Photoshopping really terrible stuff like this
The pay is zero but the fame** is priceless.
Female applicants encouraged
*see requirement number 1
**fame not included