It's been a long time coming, but the day has finally arrived. It's time to officially announce that the Couch Tarts
are hanging their skates and "officially" retiring from the world of hockey blogging. That we've stopping blogging has probably been obvious for awhile, it's not like this site has had many updates of late, but
we do owe all of our readers the courtesy of giving official final notice.

What started as Mina and I exchanging IMs about hockey blossomed into a blog that, for a time, was the #2 source for Sharks hockey in the blogosphere. We accomplished a lot and had a lot of fun doing it. We want to thank
everyone who decided to join us for the ride.  It's been great having you all with us. We're not entirely gone though,
you can find Mina and I on twitter, still making snarky comments and using amusing nicknames to refer to players, as well as covering an assortment of other topics and a plethora of poop jokes.

Thanks again guys, it's been fun.


-Gray

Ugh, what  stinker. I really wish I had licked a toad before going to the game last night. Not just any toad, mind you, but one of those poison toads that makes you see freaky stuff. Or the Hypnotoad. Only good things can come from licking the Hypnotoad. Whatever I saw would have been way more exciting than coma inducing show put on by the Sharks and Preds last night. (you can skate in non-Euclidian space, right?) Watching cement set probably would have had more action.

It's not just the Sharks played poorly, which they did, it's that the Preds played equally poorly while managing to be a textbook example of obstruction in hockey. Very, very boring obstruction. I don't think that even the very best of us at ice hockey betting could have predicted that outcome!

There was no scoring until the third. That doesn't mean there weren't chances, it just means that for long stretches, watching paint dry was probably a better option. Or eating paint chips. With lead.

SOG was low, with neither team ever gaining much of an edge in that department. Nemo and Rinne both did well in their respective nets. Rebounds were rare, it was hard to get those second or third chances. They just didn't exist. Neither did the ability for the Sharks to get past the neutral zone. In fact, the ice seemed to be titled towards the Sharks zone all night, although not enough for the Preds to do much. Honestly. if I hadn't been at the game, I'd have stopped watching and turned on Downton Abbey or something.  Period Edwardian drama vs one of the most boring games I have ever witnessed? Easy choice.

I wasn't mad at the loss, it was bound to come sooner or later and sooner seemed likely given the play in previous two games. Twitter was full of people jumping off the bandwagon in dramatic fashion, but that's not surprising. Some people only like teams when they win.

My hope is that the Sharks shake off whatever debuff they had going on Saturday, and come into Anaheim ready to play. They need to get back to speed, egression and communication on the ice. Crisp passing wouldn't hurt either.

What was that madness on the first? 6-1? Are you kidding me? Was that for real?

It was, as it turns out, since the Sharks, somewhat predictably sat back in the second and part of the third and let the Oilers creep back into the game. Smash their faces into the ice, then offer them a heater and some aspirin. Those are my boys! A full 60 minute game is still elusive, but the season is still young.

Still though, we can't ignore the domination of the Sharks in the first. What an explosion. What Vlasic scores on you, you're having a TERRIBLE night. Tonight, Devan Dubnyk was having that kind of night. Get that man a stiff drink.

Boyle, Teeth, Patty, Patty, Teeth, Vlasic, all scored in the first to make the game a hilariously unbalanced 6-1. The Oilers had a choice at that point, crawl into a hole and die or fight back. They chose the second option and did alright. They got one goal back in the second on a 5 on 3 PP and then another goal in the third.

Yakupov got his first NHL goal for the first goal, (and first Oiler goal) of the evening. Congrats kid. If you want a first NHL goal, play the Sharks. You will score. It is the will of the Hockey Gods.

The ice looked odd in Edmonton tonight. Lots of water, lots of snow, cut up to all hell. Apparently there was a concert last night. Messy, messy looking ice. Didn't seem to impact the game too much though

Edmonton got booed off the ice at the end of the first. During their home opener. Ouch.

Thornton's pass to Patty was siiiiccckkkk.

Soeaking of, Patty is a beast. He always has been. Love those awkward brows on skates.

Not a bad second outing for the Sharks though. The got a nice win Sunday against the Flames (which I did not see coming. Since when do games against the Flames go well?) and kept the momentum going tonight.

Sharks have been looking good on the PP. PK wasn't terrible either. Nice to see some improvement in those areas. Let's hope they keep it up.

Nemo has said he plans to step up his game. So far so good. He had 26 saves on the night and only looked a little shaky once or twice. Now if he'll start talking to his D, we could have something here.

Next game is THURSDAY at the Tank! 7:30pm start. Tune in or come on down to the Tank and enjoy some Sharks hockey!

Let the Teal Wookie Win

Hockey never left, but the NHL sure did. Now we suddenly find ourselves faced with 13 games on today's docket, not one of which features the Sharks. They start Sunday, just in time to conflict with the NFC Championship game features the 49ers. That won't have any impact on ratings at all!

Ok, so it's not ideal, but those of us who don't watch football will be tuning in. I don't know what to expect with such a short camp and so many guys having been off the ice for months with no real game play. The Sharks who went to Europe should be in fine form but who knows how the rest of the team will be. It could be a pretty rough start to the season.

Burns will be on the roster but not playing on Sunday.

Demers will be on the IR.

I can't believe the Sharks traded Mash, but they did.

The original owner of the Sharks, George Gund the third, passed away this past week at the age of 75.

Not Kyle, Petrecki, Sheppard and Irwin all made the jump up from the Woo-Sharks. Not Kyle's going to have to step his game up this season if he wants to be more than a terrifying pylon capable of punching in faces.

Twitter was full of rumors saying the Sharks were looking into acquiring Scott Gomez, but the team has said nothing official on that matter as of yet. Another tweet claimed that Gomez was for sure signing with a Western Conference team, but there are 15 of those so, that's like saying a sandbox might have some cat poop in it. (Hint: it does)

Scrawling "Thank You Fans!" on the ice sure as hell won't cut it this time around so, the Sharks are offering a FREE 16 oz soda to anyone who buys a main meal on the concourse. OH BOY! Also, merch is cheaper if you're an STH. Us plebs can suck it. (In all fairness, the Sharks are a business and they don't HAVE to give us ANYTHING. No, really, they don't. They could say eff you all and we'd still come to games. They know this and doing a little bit extra to make good is simply a gesture of good faith/ to save face on their part. I find it hollow, but that probably means I'm not their target audience. More causal fans are.The $99 premier jerseys are kind of legit though.)

In case you plan to stay glued to the boob tube all day, here's the schedule of games: (all times PACIFIC unless otherwise noted. Take that East Coast bias!)

Pens v Flyers @ Noon on NBC (HD) and RDS2

Sens v Jets @ Noon on CBC and RDS

Blackhawks v Kings @ Noon on NBC(HD) (how does that work with Pens/Flyers? Anyone?)

Rangers v Bruins @ 4pm on NHLN-US, MSG and NESN

Leafs v Habs @ 4pm on CBC and RDS

Devils v Islanders @ 4pm on MSG Plus 2 and MSG Plus

Caps v Lightning @ 4pm on CSN-CD and SUN

Canes v  Panthers @ 4:30pm on FS-CR and FS-F

Wings (boooo) v Blues @ 5pm on FS-D and FS-MW

Blue Jackets v Preds @ 5pm on FS-O and FS-TN

 Yotes v Stars @ 5pm pn FS-A and FS-SW

Avs v Wild @ 6pm on LT and FS-N

Ducks v Canucks @7pm pn CBC and FS-W

(apologies for the delayed post. So much hockey news this past week and I decided to catch the flu. Terrible timing, really)

One of the more meaningless losses of the lockouts was my normally encyclopedic knowledge of who is on the team. Sure, we've got your Joe Thorntons, Joe Pavelskis, Douglas Murrays, Ryane Clowe's and Patty Marleaus, but we picked up a few new guys over the summer didn't we? There was a summer right? It wasn't just some blurry lockout induced dream that I created in order to cover for the fact that there was no hockey. (and if it was, why didn't I come up with something better?)

So who the hell IS on the team these days? Well, according the official Sharks website, these guys are:

Who is Bracken Kearnes and why isn't his name Kracken Bearnes instead? Matt Tennyson...wait, he's a local boy? Holy crap! When did that happen? No really, when, because I apparently missed it. Number 80...try out or just a lover of high numbers?

In other news, Shark Pak schedules have been released, via email anyway. All Shark Pak holders will get six of their original ten games. Mina and I have plan A and we WILL be getting opening and closing night it looks like. Nicely done Sharks staff.

The rest of the Shark Pak game schedules can be found here.

Six games is better than the five I assumed we'd be getting. Not currently sure if these games will come at the same price of a full ten game pack or not. If anyone does know, please drop me a line.

Well holy crap on a cracker, it's been a long time since I last set foot in here.  It's not that there weren't things to write about during the lockout, it's that they were few and far between and covered to death. Why kick a dead and depressingly fly filled horse? I had little interest in writing about something that existed, until early this morning, in theoretical space only. My muse was gone.

But now it's back, from outer space the great beyond to dazzle us once again with checks and goals and the occasional errant elbow. I should be jumping up and down with glee right?

Well, I'm not. Don't get me wrong, I am sure the passion will return once I sit down in my seats and watch the Sharks play a real live game on real ice, but I'm not overjoyed. I still see this whole mess as having been completely unnecessary. The PA could have started negotiating before the eleventh hour and the league could have been honorable and allowed the game to be played while a new CBA was worked out. There was no need for a lockout to begin with. It's damaged the lively hoods on shop and restaurant wieners, arena workers, and other seasonal employees who depend on the NHL to make ends meet. It damaged the image of the sport, and it tempered my love for it, at least for the immediate future. I learned how to get by without the NHL and it will be a hard sell to get me to go back to watch every game.

Not that the opinion on of one, fairly washed up, blogger matters. The NHL knows I'll be watching. Maybe not as much or as fervently as before, but I'll still be back. Just with a bit more reservations than before. You're going to need to work hard to impress me after this, NHL. I do hope you're up to the challenge.

The lockout continues to drag on and with no signs of stopping so I have turned to television to entertain me. Here's what I've been watching instead of hockey.

The Walking Dead.

Ah, the zombie apocalypse. A charming way to spend you Sunday night, watching half decayed former humans shamble hungrily towards survivors who, despite being pretty good at the zombie killing thing, still haven't figured out that they should just take out all the zombies outside their perimeter fence. (Did no one in this group read the Zombie Survival Guide?)

The show is light on comic book purity, intelligent decision making and likeable characters, but it still provides a solid hour of entertainment every week. If you haven't started watching yet, I highly recommend going back and starting with season 1. It's only 6 episodes and it will set up a lot of the group dynamics for you (also episode 5 in that season is SO GOOD). Season 2 depends rather heavily on that element and while 3 isn't as big on it, it still is useful knowledge. I don't recommend getting to attached to anyone though. This is the end of the world after all; not everyone makes it out alive.

The show does have some issues, including a way too long back half of season 2, some patches of rough writing, and a ton of inexplicable decisions by the characters, but it's still worth a look. This season promises to have some pretty interesting developments, assuming some folks that should really never meet up with each other end up doing so. If that happens things are going to get downright messy. It'll be great.

if you find yourself bored on a Sunday night at 9 PM, check out The Walking Dead on AMC. Or catch up via Netflix. It's not the best show on TV, but it's good, bloody zombie smashing fun, and who doesn't love that?